Avoiderdragon Daily Digest

2009 was a crushing defeat.

Let us not mince words for our lives depend upon truth — I’ve become a parody of myself. I’ve fallen beyond pathetic and I gave in to the internal struggles. I started to whine about my misfortunes and started to wish that things would be easier.

I had deviated from my objective and lost my way. Things were not supposed to be easy. In fact, if they got easier, that is when I should start being careful as it is almost always a trap. The hardship is the essence of this existence, and I should focus on it without making any illusions for myself.

I have to say that the best year I’ve ever had in recent times has got to be 2007. I thought that it was bad, but it was actually the year when I was least emotional and most hardcore as it was when I didn’t take much heed of worldly pleasures and made the most progress. However, I was lacking a particular focus, so I did languish and fall short of targets.

I have lost some parts of me that could have still been there if I hadn’t become a pussy in the last three years. A valuable friend, my volcanic strength, and the power of my words have been lost. I may never regain the first one, but I can still salvage myself for the last two. In terms of situations, I am back to where I started back in 2007 — detached and screaming for redemption.

From the crushing defeat within myself, I believe that I may have become a shadow of my former self, but I shall embrace that darkness willingly. If I have to submit myself into this endeavor, then I might as well throw myself into the ravine of risk to exceed myself. If I have to play, I will now play it to win it.

However, I may still need some help. I have always shun assistance as I’ve thought of seeking it as a weakness, but I’ve been gravely mistaken for so long. So for those who read this that may in some way call me a friend, I implore you if you really are a friend of mine to remind me of this in the future when the need arises.

That is all I ask from you. Thank you very much.